Give me Your eyes.....

Officially 5 months till fly day!

4 months ago I began this journey. On one hand it seems like it'll never get here, and on the other it seems like it’ll be here too soon.

Fundraising is blowing my socks off! It's amazing to see how many people have donated towards this trip. I know I couldn't do it without each of them, and I am humbled by the generosity. So many people are encouraging me and are willing to help out in so many ways has blessed me so much. Please don’t take that lightly – it means the world to me.

So I have 5 months left. 5 months to get ready. I know I can pack, plan and prepare the physical aspect of this trip and be ready without a problem. Checklist for this and a checklist for that and it’ll get done. I’m struggling with the mental, emotional and spiritual part of the trip. I ask myself how do you prepare for seeing this kind of heartache and be able to mentally process it? How do you plan for seeing kids living and playing in areas that you wouldn’t let you dog out in – your cats roam in? How do you prepare for the stench and the filth? How do you not want to take each of the kids out of this situation and give them a better life? How do you sit down and eat 3 meals every day knowing that there are people – especially kids –  a few miles away going with just one? I’ll have a bed to sleep in and these families are sleeping on old blankets on the ground. Daily I’ll be taken out of the slums to a hotel with food, safe water and bathrooms.

This is going to be a challenging trip for me…and I know that I’ll be seeing life in a different perspective.

I already am.

I’m also struggling with the spiritual aspect of this. I am certain that God has called me to this – that’s not what I mean. There is the whole aspect of how can humanity have allowed the value of human life to be so low that we’ve looked away as our neighbor’s basic needs aren’t getting met. I know this is the extreme side of poverty – but it’s out there – everywhere. How can I represent the love of Jesus to these people? Sure I’ll do what needs to be done to help out. Sure I’ll do my lesson and share my faith – but is that enough? I’ll be there two weeks. I’m not there to change the world. I am there to serve people.  To do what I can to try to make a difference for the better for them. It's a little scary becuase I've learned that when I pray to God for something He can choose to answer in a way or at a time I'm not expecting it (ask me sometime about the crutches story - God has a sense of humor) - so now, as I embark on this journey, I'm praying for God to change me.  And that is a scary thing to ask for!  To be honest, I've asked Him to GENTLY change me.  I want to have His heart for people.  To love my neighbor as myself.  To let me see people through His eyes - to be open and sensitive to the hurt, pain and sorrow that is masked behind the facade' we all put up. 

So again, I ask for your prayers.  For His eyes and heart.  For me to be His hands and feet.  To be used to bless others.

I'm going to close this post with a video of a song that has been speaking to my heart lately.  Take a moment and allow the words to speak to your heart.